How Time Flies!

My goodness it doesn't seem like it's been over a month since my last post! I guess life just has a way of keeping you busy until before you know it, so much time has passed that you can't remember what even happened.
Lets see... what has happened since I blogged last....
Oh! My precious little cousin from the west coast and her mama and grandpa came for a visit! She's always a blast. Shy at first but cute as a button, and once she gets used to you, boy, no stopping her! We had so much fun, her and Jaydee and I while she was home. I've determined that when I have children, though, that I'm having a couple years in between them. A 3 year old and a 4 year old are one major handful. I wouldn't trade them for anything though, I love them just the way they are.
My favourite part of the little Miss' visit was when we were at church one Sunday and our Pastor Steve was praying and thanked God for bringing them safely from B.C. to New Brunswick and she looked wide eyed at me, and then at her mama and in a very theatrical whisper goes "He knows who we ARE!" I've  never had to stifle a laugh during prayer before, but my stars she was too funny!
Hmmm... what else... Oh, I know. Hurricane Arthur blew through. And of course I live in the area that was hardest hit. But we pulled through :) We only went 3 days without power but others have gone 8+ days without it. All good though. We're tough here in Carleton County haha!
I received my first letter from Raja a couple of weeks ago :) Since he is only 4 his Teacher wrote it for him.
He says his Parents are Abdul Xhaleg (father) who is 33 and Sumi (mother) who is 28.
If he could visit anywhere he would visit America just to visit. He wants to be a Pilot when he grows up.

Dear Sponsor (I seriously love the writing on this letter! So neat and pretty!)
At first love & greetings to you. He is doing well. He thanked you for your support. He likes song(s). He likes apple(s). What season do you like?
Please pray for his studies

He's sweet and I can't wait to get to know him.

There has also been a new addition to my Compassion family! Another little boy named Luckson. Luckson is 5 and lives in Haiti. Let me tell you, he is the most adorable little man I've ever seen!
See for yourself:

I discovered this precious surprise when I opened My Compassion by mistake last night and decided since I was there I would check up for any updates on my little ones and to my surprise there were 4 names in the drop down menu instead of 3. I had a brunette moment for a minute before I remembered I signed up to be a Volunteer Advocate for Compassion and said that I would correspond with more children. I'm already in love though. This was a great decision to make, I can tell!
Anyways! I'm off to clean! babysitting our friends pups next week so I want to get all my housework done before I take off for a week :)
take care all!
xo
Lisa

passwords....

Don't forget them like I do lol.
I signed out of blogger on my crap top intending to sign back in on my better laptop and I couldn't remember the password. Oops!! But I have it wrote down somewhere safe now, so this shouldn't happen again :)
I don't know about you all, but boy was that a long winter!! I have never been so glad to see the spring haha so much snow!! And so cold too :(
But on a good note, as far as we know my father is in remission :) even though we had a pretty big fight yesterday and im currently crashing at my friends apartment until tonight haha it means I get my daddy for a while longer and that os great news :D
This year, I will again be heading to Halifax, NS to walk in the IWK Walk for Miracles :) my fundraising goal this year is a go big or go home, yet easily achievable $500. But I need everybody's help to reach it!  If you would like to donate to this great cause you can do so at https://secure.e2rm.com/registrant/FundraisingPage.aspx?registrationID=2365954
I think the link will work, I hope it does lol
100% of , monies rasied goes directly to the iwk hospital to help purchase life saving equipment :)
And now I am off to go get ready for work. Later lovies!
Xo Lisa

I didn't say what Monday!

I am back (for the millionth time!) Why does it always seem that whenever I try to blog (or do anything) steady.. something always happens to disrupt it! Argh. We've been doing renovations to our house  and my poor computer got buried and I just found her yesterday evening. Getting the charging cord took me till today :P
On to exciting things..
I GOT A KITCHEN! It's all mine! :D Yay for Christmas cooking! Or any kind of cooking to be honest! ;) Be on the lookout for recipes. It's gonna be a rough little while for me and my family. My father has cancer and I'm scared. I really am. So I'm hoping to try to find an "out" to keep me busy when I get worried. Especially in the tough times. Since I know I like to cook and bake and experiment, I'm gonna try that :) I'm gonna get so fat... lol
Oh.. listen to this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBJ8iGHUOEg while you read. It'll make you happy. :)
One more month till Christmas (eve!) As much as I love Christmas.. I really just want this year to be over so we can jump into next years trials and hopefully triumphs.
Wait! I take what I said earlier back. Do NOT listen to the above video while you read.. WATCH it after :) It'll make you happier, I promise. :D How could Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra NOT make anybody happy? Seriously? They're beautiful. I'm not just talking about their voices either haha..
Lately I've been feeling rather.. frustrated.. with my job. I thoroughly enjoy what I do, most days anyways, and I think almost 4 years proves some sort of dedication... right? I've been working faithfully for Walmart for that long and I'm still part time and pretty low on the food chain so to speak. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, because I am oh so glad to have a job, but I'd really love to have full time at least. Just this week I found out that a young gentleman (he's still in school...) who has been there roughly a month is now my supervisor. Why? They wanted a male CSM because all the females have been getting pregnant lately. What? Stereo-typical much? Last time I checked you usually have to, erm, have sex.. to get pregnant. So I'm safe. In fact.. if I do become pregnant in the near future, somebody'd better call the Pope.. I'm not saying I want the supervisor position, because I really don't. I wouldn't turn it down if offered, but I wouldn't necessarily beg for it unless it was a full time position. I've even spoke to my boss, and explained my whole situation to him and said look, I need more hours. It's not any longer a "want" thing. Since we found out that dad has cancer, it has become a "need"..
Anyways... lol I'll post pictures of my kitchen as soon as it get's completed. :) My taps have got to go in yet, and my dish washer :) Then I get to decorate. Eeeeeeee! I'm stupid with excitement hehe
Speaking of work though.. I have to work in the morning! So it's off to bed I go. Well, as soon as I plug in my Frank Sinatra Christmas CD and put it on repeat repeat repeat :P
Night lovies
xox Lisa

80 Days of Blogging Challenge, Day 6!

6.If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be, and what would you do if later on you changed your mind?

Thats easy. My personality when I'm with my parents. When I'm away from them, I can be the sweetest girl you ever knew. But when I'm home with them, I snap and growl and spazz at them for sometimes even just speaking. I don't mean to, and I try not to, but it just happens. My mom will tell me "if you try, you can change" but in all fairness, I *do* try, really really hard. I don't like being this way, but no matter what I tell myself, or do tom make myself be kinder, I always revert back to my old ways before long. If I could honestly change the way I am towards them, and *stay* that way, I so would. I hate being mean and rude like I am because I know it hurts them, but I just don't know what to do to make myself change permanently.

Post 5 in the 80 days of blogging challenge c/o Tom Slatin's 80 Journal Writing Prompts www.tomslatin.com/80-journal-writing-prompts/

Stupid Idea? Love.

So, tonight, I did something stupid. I added my brother to my facebook. Except he doesn't know it's me because I used my old account with my fake name. (Well, if he reads this, he knows now..) I only added him really because I can never remember if his birthday is on the 17th 18th or 19th. I was pretty sure it was the 18th, but to be sure, I added him. As I 'stalked' him a little tonight, I happened upon pictures of my nieces, who I'm not allowed to talk to. I was hurting already from the stupidness of not being allowed to communicate with them, and looking at their pictures sure as hell didn't help my pain any. In fact, it only made it hurt worse. I want so badly to resolve things between my brother and I (I'm not ready to make nice with Cindy yet..) so I can talk to my nieces, but I'm still so mad at him. I get soo frustrated when I remember what he told me and what he did to me, but when I look at Madison and Amanda, I want to get to know them, and the strength of my love for them overcomes the anger I feel towards my brother. I'm lost for what I should do. I know the Bible says to forgive, and I have, but I just haven't told him that yet. If only there were some way I could talk to my girls without their parents knowing, even if it were just long enough to tell them how much their Grampie and I love them, no matter what their parents say. Because if Cindy had her way, the girls would hate me. The thought of that crushes my soul. I don't know what I would do if the girls hated me, its hard enough to know that they are being told that I hate them and that there is nothing I can do about it.
I just need them to know how much I love them, and that no matter what, I always will.

Opening Up

Alright, I'm opening my blog to the public, finally. After over a year of me not-so-faithfully writing in it, I'm going to share my inner thoughts (lol!) with the general public haha. I should have lots to blog about tonight, depends on how long I feel like typing for though haha.
So, without further adieu, I'll get started on my blog for tonight.
First off, I started to sponsor a little boy from Burkina Faso named Joel Nakoulma. He is six years old and I'm very excited to start my relationship with him and to learn about him and know him as he grows physically, mentally, and in his faith.
Next, I have been searching, for some time now, for a cozy little house for me to move into and call my own. I found one tonight. Showed it to my parents who said they would take a look this week. I was pumped. On cloud 9. Thrilled. And just about everything in the book. Till they said they would give Gaynelle a call. Gaynelle, being my cousin. I was like "um. wtf do you need to call her for?" to which they replied, she wants to rent from us. I was LIVID, and promptly flipped out at them. "So, I've been wasting my time, looking for a house for SOMEONE ELSE to live in? You've GOT to be joking." They weren't. Countless nights I have laid in bed, searching for a house that was close by and cheap and well, perfect for me. And all this time I've really been looking for Gaynelle. Not impressed.
Third, I called out John's girlfriend Cindy, about their little "joke" they played on me. She meant every word she said. So I said, great, well, have a good life, bitch. Then I messaged my brother, and informed him that I had had my heart broken one too many times by him, and I would no longer be dealing with the bullshit he pours out at me, and until further notice, I am an only child. *Please submit all applications to be my new big brother to my facebook account :) Rules are as follows: you must not break my heart, you must not say nasty things about my family, you must act like a big brother and not like a 24/7 asshole.*
Fourth, I am planning on breeding my rabbit, Thumper this summer and I am a) looking for a suitable buck to breed her with, and b) looking to see how many people would possibly be interested in a bunny :) Thumper may possibly be up for sale after the breeding and birth as I am looking for a tamer pet who allows me to handle it. ( I need a cuddle buddy)

One Cruel Joke

So, for the last two months-ish, my brother and his girlfriend have been playing one horribly cruel joke on me, and I felt I had to blog about it to "get it off my chest" per say. Around November 22nd ish, John's girlfriend, Cindy, messaged me bitching about me consoling what I believed to be my brother's broken heart. He was upset (or so I thought) and had said she was gay, and Cindy thought that I believed she was. So she decided I wouldn't be allowed to be a part of the twin's lives anymore (the twins being my nieces.) and nor could my father, and she proceeded to speak cruel words about my father. I replied and tried to be gentle in my words, in hopes that whatever I had said or done to vex her would be forgiven. It didn't happen. We fought for a few days, her with nasty words, me with gentle words and ending with God Bless you, trying to soften her heart a little. Eventually I became angry and vexed at her myself and threatened to make sure all dad's friends could see the words she had written about him, and had their chance to say cruel things about her. I never followed through with my threat because I didn't want to become like her. She then blocked me, from her profile as well as her childrens accounts, which made me heartbroken to know that I couldn't talk to my nieces whenever I chose.
I continued to talk to my brother through this, and we had our fights, and on Wednesday, he deleted me as a friend on facebook, after I confronted him about his relationship status as being "It's complicated" and he responded with he was only looking for sex. When I growled at him for deleting me, he told me to relax, that this whole thing was just a joke, and that he and Cindy were just peachy.
That hurt me deep. I couldn't, and still can't, understand why someone would do that, and how they found that process funny, when I had to suffer so badly.
Tonight I confronted my brother about the matter, but he has yet to respond. TOmorrow I will go after Cindy, as I feel I deserve and explanation for all this nonsense.

thumper

I bought a bunny tonight. Her name is Thumper, she's a four month old dwarf cross, and she's some cute. But I'm not allowed to have her. Why? I don't know. I don't deserve a reason I guess because nobody would give me one. Not a real one anyways. "We're not allowed farm animals" -She's a rabbit for crying out loud! Not a horse! "The neighbors might complain" -over a fucking caged rabbit? They *really have issues if they complain over a rabbit who is in a cage, not in their gardens. "You cant take care of a pet! Look at your fish!" -the water is clean. the fish are fed, and obviously healthy.
I don't understand what the deal is over a dwarf rabbit. I didn't even get a shot at proving myself to them. All they care about is the fact that there are a couple clothes on the floor, and that i don't have my license yet. Every day it's the same thing. "Get your license. Get your license." its like a damned broken record that i can't turn off.
I love the fact that i am not mature and responsible enough to take care of a rabbit, but they want to get me a house. Because that's soo much easier to take care of than a rabbit. Ugh! I just want to cry somedays. It hurts my head.

What I am Thankful For :)

So, this is a list of stuff that I am thankful for in my life. Most of it is serious, but some of it is just me being silly. What are YOU thankful for?

My parents
Madison
Amanda
Samara
Brenden
Georgia
Ti Gilles
My God-parents
My God-sister
Peter
Kyle
Camping
The time I had with loved ones that have passed on
Bathrooms lol
My friends
Facebook
Myspace
Youtube
Music
Clean clothes
food
water
Pepsi
email
love
My cell phone
money
People who don't annoy me
My computer
being able to walk and run
Church
living in a free country
cookies
Chuck Norris
JoAnn still being alive
God
knowing how to play cribbage
sweet old men
old people in general
soldiers
veterans
"Master"
writing
books
newspapers
gentlemen
life
snow
sun
warmth
cold
rain
the ocean
the forest
animals
horses
Pokey
work
being able to blog freely
paper
pens
trees because they clear the air so we can breathe :D
flowers
my plants
CMT
my record player
the time I've had with John Glass and the memories I have of him.

A good night :)

Tonight was a good night :) lol! My room-mate was going into Borden tonight, and I have family there, so I said I would go along and see them. First stop was at my great-aunt Rita's, but she was sleeping, so I moved on up the road to visit my Uncle Billy. My uncle Everette was also there, so I had a nice visit with the both of them, and aunt Barb made me a nice home cooked meal before I left. After leaving Billy's house, I went back to visit Rita. She's such a sweet old lady. She was very happy to see me, and I her. She reminds me of my Granny, her sister, a lady who I treasured dearly in the 12 years she was in my life.
After I spent time with Aunt Rita, I went down the street to visit my cousins Jimmy and Cathy. Dear sweet people they are too. Turns out Wednesday night is their crib night, and a couple of their friends come over and play cribbage with them. I was included in the game, and had a wonderful time playing with Cathy, Kenny and Donny. (jimmy sat out to help me 'cause I'm still a beginner) Turns out Donny (Noonan) grew up next door to my father, and recognized me as his daughter (or rather, as a Keough, then as his daughter) After studying my face a bit, he also determined that I looked like my Aunts Helen and Ruthie. To be honest, I cant see Helen in myself, but Ruthie I can. After playing a few rounds of crib with the lot of em, I decided I had better go now, and bid them goodnight.
Walking around the town while waiting for my room-mate, I walked down to my Granny's old house, which is for sale and I wish to buy, and copied down the address, and the number to call to learn what the price is on it. On the sign was a sticker saying "new price" which made me somewhat happy. Happy because the price is lower obviously! But it made me worry, if the house doesn't sell soon, will they tear it down? Or just keep it for sale? Either way, I intend to call and express my interest in the house and hopefully before long, I will be the owner of a house full of memories :)

FML

Too much stuff has been going on lately. I'm just tired of it all.
First off, Hayden dying drained my energy for a few days, and then my dad had to have surgery this week, yesterday actually, and i'm just so drained from that, with the stress of the surgery first of all, and then people coming at me from all directions wanting me to pass on their well wishes and love and prayers and all that and i just cant keep up with it! and i'm so busy right now anyways, with school, and volunteering for the Salvation Army, and it looks like i'm going to be getting a job next week or the week after, and Christmas is coming up, and I'm trying to get everyone bought for for that, and I'm just so tired. all i want to do is go home. I NEED to go home, but I'm going in (hopefully) two weeks for a Christmas vacation. I'm so tired. so very tired and sleep doesn't seem to help, and i don't get enough to begin with, and the kid next door yelling all night sure don't help me to get more.
Life right now is not working in my favour. Besides all that, my best friend here has swine flu, although he is getting better, i drove home with him on friday, and he had it then, so i've been exposed so that makes matters worse too because if i get it, well, i'm just fucked because i can't go home and infect my father right after he has heart surgery.
fml.