Stupid Idea? Love.

So, tonight, I did something stupid. I added my brother to my facebook. Except he doesn't know it's me because I used my old account with my fake name. (Well, if he reads this, he knows now..) I only added him really because I can never remember if his birthday is on the 17th 18th or 19th. I was pretty sure it was the 18th, but to be sure, I added him. As I 'stalked' him a little tonight, I happened upon pictures of my nieces, who I'm not allowed to talk to. I was hurting already from the stupidness of not being allowed to communicate with them, and looking at their pictures sure as hell didn't help my pain any. In fact, it only made it hurt worse. I want so badly to resolve things between my brother and I (I'm not ready to make nice with Cindy yet..) so I can talk to my nieces, but I'm still so mad at him. I get soo frustrated when I remember what he told me and what he did to me, but when I look at Madison and Amanda, I want to get to know them, and the strength of my love for them overcomes the anger I feel towards my brother. I'm lost for what I should do. I know the Bible says to forgive, and I have, but I just haven't told him that yet. If only there were some way I could talk to my girls without their parents knowing, even if it were just long enough to tell them how much their Grampie and I love them, no matter what their parents say. Because if Cindy had her way, the girls would hate me. The thought of that crushes my soul. I don't know what I would do if the girls hated me, its hard enough to know that they are being told that I hate them and that there is nothing I can do about it.
I just need them to know how much I love them, and that no matter what, I always will.

FIRST LETTER! :D

Today I received my first letter from my sponsored child, Joel. I was sooo excited i ripped the envelope open right there at the mailbox! :P It was a simple little letter, not long, but it was said with love. (he's six. he cant write yet :P so he dictates his letters) and at the end was a cute little drawing. Of what, I'm not sure, but it was cute just the same because it was drawn specifically for me :D
No word of a lie, when I read the words he said to me, my heart swelled up at least a dozen times its size.

I am very happy to be sponsored! Thanks for choosing me. I am very well, my family too. My dad is called Jeremie, he is a farmer. My mother is called Madeline she is a housewife. I have two big sisters called Marceline and Celine. I do not have the age to go to school yet. I often help my dad to take care of the poultry. What is your job? Are you married? Please pray for my parents and also for my big sister Celine's school. May God Bless you!
Bye!

like I said, short. But pretty danged adorable. :) I look forward to building a relationship with this adorable little boy and hearing from him as he grows. And hopefully (fingers crossed) being able to correspond with him with out a translator (meaning I have to actually learn french :P)

Just thought I'd share with the world :) goodnight and God Bless :)